FIVE KEYS TO SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

In a world of changing standards, marriage is no longer held in high esteem. Couples stay together until thier physical attraction wanes or problems arise; and what is surprising is that couples separate or divorce as if it is going out of fashion-on very flimsy excuses. The unlucky children are left in the wake of this unfavourable event-traumatized.

Now, the erosion of marriage values and its effect on family life should concern us particularly because children are always caught up in the back-lash of this (sometimes unnecessary) event.

As a result of the foregone, we should take comfort from the scriptures because the tried and tested advice inherent in them is handy in times like this and if we can just consider the following five principles, a world of difference will be achieved.

1. BOTH SHOULD RECOGNIZE MARRIAGE AS A SACRED UNION

God counselled certain men of old who divorced their wives in order to marry younger women.

(Malachi 2:14-16 ‘...and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her.’)

Clearly, God does not take a casual view of marriage; He takes note of how husbands and wives treat each other. We should remember that the institution of marriage was ordained by God Himself in Genesis 2: 24-25 and this was later confirmed by Jesus Christ (Matt 19:4-6).

2.     THE MAN SHOULD BE A RESPONSIBLE HUSBAND

A husband is the head of his wife (Ephesians 5:23) but headship is no license for tyranny;  the  husband should remember that he is one flesh with his wife, he should therefore honour (1 Peter 3:7) and consult her when important family matters arise. But as the head of the house, he has to make the final decision-the Bible assigns that role to the husband.

3.     THE WIFE SHOULD SUPPORT HER HUSBAND

The Bible described the wife as a helper (Gen 2:18) – for the man to be productive, he needs the help of his wife since she was built to meet her husband’s needs. As such, she supplies important qualities to the marriage. She does not compete with him but gives him loving support and this in turn promotes peace in the family.

Although this realization does not come with today’s culture; the modern thought is that the woman should be equal with the man or even stronger than the man. But according to the Bible, the man and the woman have their respective functions.

If she disagrees with him on a matter, she should feel free to express her opinions in a dignified and respectful manner just as she would expect her husband to speak to her.

4.     BOTH SHOULD BE REALISTIC AND EXPECT CHALLENGES

Marriage will at one time or the other be put to the test through thoughtless or careless words, financial problems, illness and other stresses of raising children -  the Bilble actually warned of such situations (1 Corinthians 7:28). But all these should in fact strengthen the union if the couple posses Godly wisdom and love each other ( James 1:5 )

 5.     BOTH SHOULD BE FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER

Fornication or sexual intercourse outside marriage is the only acceptable basis for divorce by God - Matt 19:9  and Hebrews 13:4 are scriptural testimonies to this fact. The way out of this terrible sin is given in 1 corinthians 7:3, 4.

The Bible again cautioned us against unfaithfulness in Prov 5:18-19

‘Let thy fountain be blessed:

and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;

and be thou ravished always with her love’.

CONCLUSION

Many might consider these points achaic, but they have been tried and tested and they work (remember that the words works). For a couple that looks to God for guidance in all areas of life; the Psalmist (1:2, 3) says such will be ‘...like a tree planted by the stream of waters...everything he does will succeed’.