Principles For Finding A Godly Wife Or Husband

Many Christians are destroying themselves in the effort to find a husband or a wife. The ladies wear revealing clothes and the young men are 'sagging' and not properly dressed  to church on Sunday. Pain and desperation are driving them to clumsily adopt the ways of the world in finding a life partner. It can only lead to heartache and disappointment.

Here are some good Christian principles for finding a Godly wife or husband.

Work on making yourself the sort of person that a godly Christian would like to marry. Be kind, reliable, courteous and attractive. Have your life disciplined and godly and in reasonably good order. Be full of love.

Have something interesting about you and work on it. You need to stand out from the crowd a little by participating in church activities and doing something different that is still you.

Have a daily quiet time where you read the Bible and pray in the Holy Ghost always. Go to church regularly to worship God and look normal (I mean do not look obvious). There is something very unattractive about people who are obviously looking for a partner. Godly people want a godly partner.

Focus on your career and make a success of it. It will cultivate good qualities in you such as forward thinking, planning, diligence, and hard work and it will increase your self-esteem so that you don't feel as devastated by being single. 

It will also increase your confidence and attractiveness. Godly Christians tend to like people who do their best. Jesus had an obvious soft spot for stewards who did their work diligently and well and makes them the heroes of many of his parables.

Make a list of the qualities you really want in a partner and bring this list to God in prayer. Make it quite specific. Use it as a "filter" to prevent you going out with people that are completely wrong. When you make the list remember the golden rule "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you". 

Would you want your future partner to be drawing up a list like yours? Would you have any chance of getting selected if they did? Is your list too unreal? Make sure that an "average person" - the sort you are likely to marry, is able to fulfill it.

Take their weaknesses seriously. If a person is a Christian but has a problem with promiscuity then be very careful. If they are constantly in financial trouble or always quitting their jobs you may be marrying misery. 

Things like very low self-esteem, high levels of hostility, and the need to control people can wreak havoc in a marriage. If they are believers then God is working in their lives and there is hope but some believers are not yet ready for responsibility. Some may be "barely believers" and not really committed to long term change

Be sure to want to marry someone you can pray with. Couples that pray together stay together and that's a proven fact. The Christian marriages that fail have one partner that avoids having daily devotionals together. Prayer really builds deep intimacy into a marriage.

Learn to recognize predators. There are quite a number of people who attend churches to pick up a "Christian partner" and who can fake being a Christian with considerable skill. They generally have no intention of being godly and little intention of marriage. They are generally after unprotected sex with someone innocent and free of disease. Sorry to be that blunt but you need to know the truth.

Predators are often betrayed by their lack of true feeling for Christian things and their lack of insight into Scripture. Greed, not tithing, and minor ethical breaches are other good clues. Listen to God's promptings and your intuition. When the Holy Spirit says "No" stop right then and there!

Move steadily and wisely towards commitment and put aside undue suspicion, hostility and distrust of the opposite gender. No-one will stay in a relationship with a person who distrusts them. 

However if you treat your partner well and trust , love, and enjoy him/her and delight in who they are and expect good things of them, they will enjoy your love so much that they will not think of doing anything else except marrying you! Positive people tend to get positive results and negative people tend to get negative results - so deal with your fears.

Don't be paranoid about members of the opposite sex. 

In conservative Christian circles there is almost an assumption that you only talk to members of the opposite sex that you are interested in marrying! That is so destructive! Build many ordinary good friendships, it takes the pressure off any emerging relationships and also gives you a better understanding of women/men as the case may be.

Get good Christian counseling from your pastor before choosing and if you have had traumatic experiences that may be hindering your ability to relate to members of the opposite sex.

Ask Jehovah for blessing on your efforts in prayer and develop the ability to listen to Him. He has a long history of putting some first class romances together. Let Him order your ways and they will be pleasant. 

He really does care for you.